(Photo by Ave Calvar Martinez)

In my initial concept for “Roots”, Syn and Pierce were children from a daycare who were going on a make-believe adventure that would stray into the real world as they tried to escape from the daycare facility. As I worked out the plot points I found myself less and less interested in that concept. From there I shifted to them being prisoners escaping a prison, but that had its own issues that I didn’t like. I played around with aliens and other supernatural elements and in the end I didn’t feel strongly enough towards any of them to really commit. When this happens to me, I usually put the story aside and write something else that is more settled in my mind. However, Syn and Pierce kept coming to my mind, digging in their tunnel and looking for a way out.

It’s not uncommon for characters from my stories to almost take on a life of their own in my mind, presenting me with actions they would take, words they would say, and what their thoughts were on certain parts of the story. It’s not until I write them down that they become quiet once again and are replaced by new voices for my next story. I knew “Roots” wasn’t fleshed out but Syn and Pierce would not rest and so I began writing their story without a clear picture of what that story was. The farther into the story I got, however, the less confident I became that I’d be able to resolve those issues.

One morning, I woke up and only Syn was in my mind, and so I wrote about Syn waking up alone with Pierce nowhere to be found. Then Pierce returned with a vague entourage of voices that never resolved into anything concrete and leaving me befuddled and frustrated as the story got more and more out of control. A part of me wanted to press on through and make the pieces fit but with each new installment I knew it wasn’t working.

Then, last week, both Syn and Pierce fell silent, with Syn hanging on only a few hours longer than Pierce. Experience has taught me that once they’ve gone quiet, if I didn’t already know where the story was going then it would be nearly impossible to fix a story. I took some time to review what had been written thus far, debating on whether or not I could write an ending to the story. I wanted to do so much more, to explain who or what they were escaping from, where this safe haven that Syn had learned about was, and what Syn and Pierce would do once they got there. Unfortunately, the various endings I attempted to write were, in one way or another, hollow and inadequate.

Syn, I knew, had her gut wound and such injuries are incredibly fatal over time without proper medical care. It was the easy way out. Pierce was recaptured and Syn made it a bit further before succumbing to her injuries. It wasn’t the ending I’d wanted, and not the story I’d hoped it would turn out to be. In a way I feel a lot like Syn, having begun work on a plan only to have it hijacked and taken to places I didn’t like, hoping all the while that I could salvage the situation until, at the very end, accepting the fact that the situation was beyond my ability to overcome.

All of that said, I’m glad I didn’t abandon the story. So often we view mistakes or failures as things to be avoided at all costs and when they do arise we feel ashamed. Obviously, there are situations that warrant such strict desires for success, like space flight or invasive surgeries, but most of our day-to-day experiences can and should be allowed some greater leeway. In this instance, writing “Roots” forced me to explore more ideas and themes than I normally would have done for a story. I got to try multiple versions of the story and that sort of practice is something that I don’t often get.

I hope you were able to enjoy “Roots” for what it was and I look forward to sharing with you the next story I’ve been coalescing and taking shape. Already these new voices have begun to tell me their stories and to flesh out their world.

Thank you for reading my stories and I hope I can continue to share many more of them with you.