(Photo by Özümcan Akın)

Nis kept a wary eye on Trow. She expected him to awaken with a start but when he did begin to show signs of waking all he did was let out a few groans of pain. After a few minutes of him slipping in and out of consciousness, Trow rolled over so he could more easily look at Nis.

“Take us to shore, now,” he grunted and although his voice was calm and level there was an intense anger behind his words.

“I told you, I’m not going back,” Nis stated.

“There’s three ways this is going to go,” Trow replied. “The first is Gorvis tracks you down, we give both of you a sound beating, and we all go back to Duran. Second, I escape my bonds, give you each a beating, wait for Gorvis to catch up, he gives you each another beating, and we all go back to Duran. Third is you steer us back to shore, untie me, I don’t beat you and we wait for Gorvis to catch up whereupon he beats you both since I am a man of my word and promised that he would do so if you attempted to escape, and then we all go back to Duran.”

“Fourth,” Nis said, “we dump you off the raft close to shore and then get so far ahead of you two that you’re forced to return to Duran without us.”

“We won’t return without you,” Trow said.

“You’ll have to go back eventually.”

“Not if we want to live,” Trow said darkly. “The punishment for failure is execution.”

Nis stared at him hard, trying to discern whether or not he was lying about that. It seemed a rather extreme punishment, after all.

“That’s how valuable you have been deemed,” Trow said, meeting and holding her gaze. “Strong motivation for us not to return empty handed. Of course, we only have to return with you. We’re under no obligation to return with Meric, especially now that she’s taken your side of things.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nis asked although the threat he’d hinted at was plain enough for her to see.

“Listen to me, Nis,” Trow said, softening his tone, “I’m not one who enjoys violence. I honestly don’t want to hurt either of you, but I’m also a pragmatic man and I will do what I believe is necessary. If that means doing things I find…unpleasant, then so be it. But it does not have to be that way. You can come back with us without a fuss, and I might even be persuaded not to let Gorvis beat you.”

Nis had to admit, even if only to herself, that she was tempted to go back. She was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally from everything she’d had to endure ever since she left Duran. Even holding this conversation with Trow was taxing her near to her limits.

“I am so tired,” Nis found herself saying, her voice cracking, “Tired of running, tired of being afraid, tired of…tired of being tired.”

“Then stop running,” Trow said.

“I can’t.”

“Why not? You won’t be locked up anymore, remember? I told you, they’re going to give you more freedom.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then why?”

“Because…because…” she had to tell him something, had to make him understand. “There are things, forgotten things, that one of my past lives wants left forgotten.”

“Okay, but why do you care so much?”

“Because she can…she can make me do things if I don’t…if I tell people about those things.”

Trow was quiet for a moment, his expression unreadable.

“Your past life,” he began slowly, “can act through you?”

Nis nodded.

“It’s only happened once,” she said, “but…

She trailed off, remembering the terrible sensation of being pressed into the back of her own mind, losing all control over her body and feeling helpless as she watched her own hand move to stab Kyneh.

Movement in the shelter distracted Nis and she turned to find Meric crawling out, a waterskin in her hands. She looked about as tired as Nis felt but she smiled when Meric looked at her.

“You should be sleeping,” Nis said.

“I know, but you two are hard to ignore,” Meric said. She took a swig of water and then held the waterskin close to Trow’s mouth, offering to help him get a drink since he couldn’t hold the waterskin with his hands tied behind his back. “Sorry for having to hit you.”

“You think offering me some water will make up for it somehow?” he asked but accepted the offered drink nonetheless.

“You hungry?” Meric asked after he’d finished drinking.

“I’ll have one of the hard biscuits,” he said.

“What about you?” Meric asked Nis while she dug through Trow’s pack. “You hungry?”

“A biscuit sounds good to me,” Nis replied. “I’ll also take a drink.”

“Sure,” Meric said, bringing over their small breakfast and both her and Trow’s waterskins.

She handed one of the waterskin and a biscuit to Nis and then broke a second biscuit into pieces to feed to Trow.

“I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation,” Meric said, “and I think the best solution is if you joined us, Trow.”

Trow nearly choked as he stifled a laugh and Nis was similarly in disbelief over the suggestion.

“Oh, of course Meric,” he spluttered. “I just agree to that and you untie me and we all get along for the rest of our days out here in the Unexplored Wastes.”

“Something like that,” Meric said.

“And why would I do that?”

“You and Gorvis were always complaining about how things are back in Duran,” Meric answered him.

“We’ve got families and friends to get back to.”

“Who?” Meric asked, “Because I seem to recall both of you telling me how lucky I was to be an archivist since trackers are too busy to have relationships.”

“So rather than having few opportunities for friends and family,” Trow said, his eyes narrowed, “you’re offering us the chance to have no opportunities for friends and family?”

“I’m offering you the chance to have an adventure,” Meric said. “Think about it. Practically no one’s been out here in centuries.”

“As much as I love being in places like this,” Trow admitted, “I also love having access to a bakery, a blacksmith, and all the other things you can’t find out here on your own.”

Meric turned to Nis as if looking for support but Nis had no idea what she could offer that would convince Trow. She also didn’t think she would trust him if he did agree to join them. What would keep him from saying he’d join them and then immediately break his word when they untied him?

“Fine,” Meric sighed, giving Trow his last bite of biscuit and another swig of water. “I say we keep Trow with us for now.”

“Why?” Nis asked.

“Because trackers are sent out as a team with each one having their own set of skills,” Meric said with a knowing smile at Trow. “Gorvis is excellent at following a trail but it’s Trow who knows about foraging. Without food, Gorvis will have no choice but to turn back.”

“He still has weeks of food in his pack,” Trow huffed.

“Not anymore,” Meric said. “Remember last night when I borrowed your trowel?”

Trow’s eyes widened.

“What did you do?” he demanded.

“Even if he finds his rations, they won’t be fit to be eaten. He’ll have no choice but to go back to Duran.”

“No,” Trow said darkly, “all that you’ve done is given him the most powerful motivation there is to hunt you down. And when he finds you,” Trow shook his head, “he’s going to kill you.”

“He can try to catch up to us,” Meric said with a confidence that Nis didn’t feel, “but he’ll fail.”

“And what makes you think that you can keep ahead of Gorvis? He’ll run you down day and night until he catches you!”

“I was looking at the maps Nis drew,” Meric said. “We’re about to reach a point called Patience End.”

It was Nis’ eyes that widened now. If Meric was correct then they were indeed about to gain a serious advantage over Gorvis.

“What’s Patience End?” Trow asked.

“It’s where the river splits,” Nis said, finally beginning to feel some of the confidence that Meric had been exhibiting this entire time.

“So you’ve given yourself one chance out of two that Gorvis picks the wrong river to follow,” Trow scoffed. “Hardly good odds when you’re betting your life.”

“Patience doesn’t split in two,” Nis told him. “It splits into five, and those each then continue to split for the next several miles. Mel called it the shattered streams because they looked like broken glass when she drew her first map of them.”

“Then I will not make your travels easy,” Trow warned.

“I figured,” Meric said, holding up the now empty waterskin she’d been sharing with him. “That’s why I put some of those herbs I found in your pack into the waterskin. Did the same to Gorvis’ waterskin last night so he should be pretty much out of it for most of today.”

Trow looked as though he was about to deny it but then hesitated.

“Herb lore was one of my areas of study at the archives,” Meric explained. “Figured you two were planning on drugging Nis if she gave you too much trouble.”

“But you’ve drugged yourself!” Trow exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Meric admitted and allowed herself a yawn, “but I’m tired and want to get some sleep. I also let you drink most of the water, so you’ll be out much longer than I will.”

With that, Meric got up and returned to the shelter.

“I will see you returned to Duran,” Trow warned Nis, “and if you want your friend to survive the trip, you will set me free!”

Even as he spoke his eyelids were drooping and his speech was beginning to slur.

“You’re really going to kill her if I don’t help you?” Nis asked, feeling as though a cold stone was settling into her stomach and making her sick. It was a nausea she’d felt before, right after she’d killed Skav.

“Meric has done nothing…but…slow us down,” Trow hissed as he struggled to remain awake. “I have every right…to execute…for her troubles…

His head slumped to the side and his eyelids fluttered for a few seconds but soon his breathing slowed and his muscles relaxed.

“Meric?” Nis called over though not too loudly.

No response.

Nis looked back down at Trow and her heartbeat immediately increased. Her breathing, however, was shallow and she thought she might pass out if she didn’t sit down soon. She couldn’t let herself think too much about what she was doing and so before she could stop herself or second guess her actions, Nis crouched down and shoved Trow off the side of the raft. He bobbed for a moment in the water but as his clothing soaked in the water he began to sink.

Nis clamped her hands over her mouth to stifle a scream as she watched his head slip beneath the surface. There was no resisting the intense nausea that struck her this time and she vomited into the river. For a moment she thought she saw Trow’s face looking up at her from below the surface and she scrambled back from the edge.

“He was going to kill her,” Nis told herself, repeating it over and over, trying to push away the guilt and horror she felt. It was much worse, infinitely worse this time than it had been with Skav. At least then she could honestly say that it had been an accident. She just wanted to get away, she hadn’t intended to kill him. But with Trow, she knew what she was doing, knew the consequences of it, and she’d done it anyway.

Was that who she wanted to be, though? Could she live with herself? But what was the alternative? What else could she do knowing what Trow was going to do?

She glanced over the side of the raft once more and this time she was certain she saw him, just a few inches below the surface.

“I ran away so I wouldn’t hurt anyone,” she said in a rush as she plunged her hands into the water and took hold of Trow’s shoulders. He was incredibly heavy but she somehow managed to drag him back up onto the raft.

Still unconscious, Trow coughed and spluttered as Nis rocked him back and forth on his side to help work the water out of his lungs. She wasn’t sure where she’d learned the technique but figured it must have been one of her past lives. Regardless, Trow soon began to breathe more regularly and Nis returned to her spot beside the rudder where she immediately sat, tucking her knees up to her chin.

Everything ached, her head was pounding, and all she could do was cry with one hand on the rudder and the other wrapped tightly around her legs for what little comfort she could offer herself.