Welcome to the Frank Nelis Salon, the banner above the entryway proclaimed.

Full length digital displays flanked the door, touting the superiority of the Beautician and Barber Series Y, BaBS-Y,  model that the salon employed. Images of the sleek robot along with messages written in looping script took turns appearing on the displays.

Programmed with thousands of unique styles

New and improved safety protocols avoid even the slightest nic

Adaptive A.I. for creative, new styles

Not covered in the advertising presented to the public were the millions of conversational and behavioral modes BaBS-Y had to allow it to interact with even the most difficult clients. That was one of the biggest selling point for BaBS-Ys. The other big selling point was their autonomy, thus removing the need to have any humans working in the salon.

The Frank Nelis Salon was well known on Earth and so it came as no surprise to anyone who found this particular Frank Nelis Salon on the colony ship, Thesis. What was surprising was that Frank Nelis himself had elected to join this colony ship, leaving his company and vast wealth behind in exchange for an opportunity to travel among the stars. Everyone aboard the Thesis had made similar sacrifices, leaving the only world they’d ever known behind. None of them would ever set foot on another planet, and neither would any of their children or grandchildren. Their great-grandchildren, however, might live to see the day when the Thesis finally reaches its destination. Then they would begin the task of building up a new branch of humanity. On board were vast stores of animals, insects, plants, seeds, and more to give life on the new planet a jump start.

All of that was still generations away. Only a decade had elapsed since the Thesis left Earth. Already they were well beyond the planets and within a couple more years they would leave the Oort Cloud. The ship was under constant acceleration, providing the artificial gravity as well as enabling them to reach sufficient speeds to cross the vast distances between worlds.

With close to a hundred thousand people on board, the Thesis had been designed to provide countless sources of entertainment. There were performers of all sorts who had been contracted to join the colony, as well as writers and artists. Humanity had learned early on in their attempt to colonize space that such things could not be ignored. The first such colony ship, Gaia, had been sent with only scientists and engineers. The thinking was that the professionals would be best suited to the rigors of interstellar travel. However, after a few years their society began to crumble. The last transmission Earth received from them was one of chaos and despair. The modern colony ships were designed to be much more like a small city with people from various walks of life. It was that diversity that enabled society to thrive.

The commercial district where the Frank Nelis Salon was situated was normally a bustling hive of activity. At the moment, it was completely silent. All along the upper panels of the walls flashed the same message: HULL BREACH IN RECREATION AND COMMERCIAL SECTORS 12-15   …   EXPOSURE TO VACUUM MAY RESULT IN INJURY OR DEATH

Inside the Frank Nelis Salon, the lone BaBS-Y stood, examining the client seated in front of it. BaBS-Y had worked on this client several times before, but recently the task had become increasingly difficult. The hair, once long and thick, was now much shorter and patchier. Even as BaBS-Y ran its fingers through it, small clumps began to pull out from the scalp.

Client likely to request styling to obscure hair loss.

BaBS-Y processed the conclusion and began a search for applicable styles.

Logic Error: client is deceased and cannot request styles.

Beginning Accidental Death Report

Report Sent

BaBS-Y was still for a moment and then looked over to the others sitting in the waiting area. They had been dead for sixteen days now but there were no signs of decay. They were slightly emaciated with a few splotches of discoloration here and there but other than that they looked uninjured. Their hair, however, all bore signs of having been worked on over and over again to the point where they all had little remaining.

BaBS-Y turned back to the client in the salon chair in front of it.

Resuming hairdressing protocols

Client is unable to specify preferences. Initiate Self-Selection Protocols

BaBS-Y tried running its fingers through the client’s hair once more and came away with even more hair.

“Your hair is quite delicate,” BaBS-Y attempted to say but without any atmosphere it was impossible to make any sound. “May I suggest –

Logic Error: client’s hair is too fragile for styling

BaBS-Y placed the clump of hair into the waste receptacle and removed the smock from the client.

“I apologize,” BaBS-Y said, although no sound issued from it’s vocabulator, “but I am unable to assist you today. Perhaps you would be interested in one of our specialty scalp lotions to –

Logic Error: client is deceased and unable to apply scalp lotion.

Beginning Accidental Death Report

Logic Error: Accidental Death Report already filed for client

Await authorities to remove deceased client

BaBS-Y folded the smock and placed it neatly on the counter beside the client and then strode over to stand behind the greeter desk so it could welcome the authorities when they arrived. Not a minute had passed, however, when BaBS-Y looked once more at the other deceased clients sitting in the waiting area.

Logic Error: Authorities have failed to respond to previous 17 reports.

Authorities not likely to respond

BaBS-Y had some minor facial functions to modify its expression. Currently, BaBS-Y was frowning. None of these clients were suitable for the services provided by the salon. To make matters worse, they were taking up all of the space within the salon, preventing any potential clients from being able to come into the salon.

“I apologize for the inconvenience,” BaBS-Y failed to say. “I must ask you to leave to make room for more clients.”

BaBS-Y waited. None of the clients moved. BaBS-Y knew none of them could hear what it was saying. Its own audio receptors didn’t register any sounds. However, BaBS-Y’s programming didn’t account for how to communicate in a vacuum. After a moment of consideration, BaBS-Y concluded that it could modify the in-store displays. Under normal circumstances, BaBS-Y was only supposed to use those displays for marketing purposes but since none of the current clients could benefit from the products and services offered, the displays were of no use in that regard.

In moments, the displays changed, informing the clients that they needed to leave, and BaBS-Y began politely pointing to them.

Logic Error: all clients are deceased and cannot leave on their own

Clients may be assisted out of the salon if they are unable to do so themselves

BaBS-Y gently lifted the first client from the seat, making sure not to grip them too tightly, and carried them out of the salon. BaBS-Y couldn’t go far outside of the salon, being tethered to the main structure for power, but soon BaBS-Y was able to place all of the clients in as comfortable looking positions as possible. The first few were placed on benches but once those were full BaBS-Y began to lay the rest on the floor. Their bodies were stiff from the cold but they nevertheless laid where BaBS-Y put them. With each one, BaBS-Y was certain to comfort them and not leave them feeling bad for being sent away.

Messages on the store displays flashed while BaBS-Y carried the clients out.

You look wonderful the way you are.

We apologize for not being equiped to serve you at this time.

We hope to see you again once you are no longer deceased.

That done, BaBS-Y swept the salon and cleaned the chairs.

No new clients had arrived yet, so BaBS-Y polished and sharpened the scissors and razors, as well as cleaned out the electric clippers and checked them for any damaged teeth.

There were still no new clients.

BaBS-Y stood in the entryway, looking for anyone who might be a potential customer. There were a few benches somewhat further away than the ones BaBS-Y had placed the prior clients onto and a few people were sitting on them. BaBS-Y waved to try and get their attention, changing the exterior displays to show an invitation to the salon.

Logic Error: potential client is deceased and unable to respond to offers for styling services

BaBS-Y scanned the entire atrium, looking for anyone who might be a client.

There were no living clients or potential clients in sight but there were no protocols strictly prohibiting BaBS-Y from providing services to the deceased. In fact, there were several protocols relating directly to the deceased.

Permission by family or government agency is required to render services to the deceased

BaBS-Y considered this for a moment longer. A deceased potential client was functionally identical to a deceased client without the requisite permissions granted.

Potential client = Client when deceased

To Salon Manager, Frank Nelis, All clients are deceased. Requesting permission to render services to clients.

At once a response came back.

Frank Nelis has passed away and is no longer receiving messages and his accounts aboard the Thesis have been closed. If you have any inquiries regarding his businesses, please direct them to the current salon staff.

BaBS-Y knew there was no one else assigned to this salon and so updated the database to reflect the change. BaBS-Y was now the manager of the salon, granting greater access to the ships database. It ran a search for the appropriate contacts for its request.

Search results: 3

Fessnor, Kat: Coroner

Gounder, Mali: District Director

Jorgenson, Paul: Mission Director

BaBS-Y sent a request to each of them. Soon it would have the permissions it needed and then it would be able to resume its work. BaBS-Y stood at the desk and waited.

And waited.

And waited.