(Photo by Los Muertos Crew)

“Over the river and through the woods,” Sani sang quietly to himself in the backseat of his family’s car, “to grandmother’s house we go.”

His mom hummed along absentmindedly while she drove. It was just the two of them in the car. There should have been three in the car but neither Sani or his mom mentioned the absence. Part of the reason was because his mom wasn’t as accustomed to driving this much and the morning rush hour traffic was clearly making her nervous. Sani didn’t want to distract her so he left off singing and instead settled on watching the scenery outside go by.

They were almost through the city now and the density of buildings was falling off sharply. He’d been this way countless times and the view was familiar. However, before he’d always been excited to go to grandma’s house. She would watch him whenever Sani’s parents went out on a date or sometimes over a weekend if they were going on a boring camping trip. Sani hated camping and it was a treat to get to spend a few days with grandma. She always made the best breakfasts for him on those mornings. Thick pancakes with all the syrup he could want and juice and cereal and bacon. Just thinking about it made him a bit hungry.

There was no excitement this time for Sani. As much as he loved his grandma, and knew she was probably already getting some books and snacks ready for him, all he could think about was the empty seat in the car.

“You okay, honey?” his mom asked and he caught a glimpse of her eyes looking at him through the rear view mirror.

“I’m fine,” he lied and wiped at his eyes to make sure he didn’t have any tears visible.

“Grandma said she’s got your room all ready for you.”

Sani nodded without any real emotion. It was easier to behave that way since he knew the only other option was to cry and he was exhausted from all the crying he’d already done.

“You’ve got your teddy and your change of clothes,” his mom went on, more to herself now as she rechecked her mental list of things they needed to bring. “Grandma’s got my number if you need anything, and I’ll make sure to call around dinner time, okay?”

“Okay,” Sani replied.

Neither of them tried to force the conversation and the rest of the drive was quiet except for the rumble of traffic around them. It was the oldest lullaby he knew and his head began to droop. The next thing he knew, Sani was startled awake by the car stopping and turning off. He looked up and they had arrived at grandmas house.

“Here we are sleepy head,” his mom sighed.

Sani waited for her to come and unbuckle him and let him out of the car. He knew he could probably work the seat belt on his own now but he liked it when she did it since she would also give him a little hug and a kiss on his cheek.

As expected, when she unbuckled him she gave him a hug and a kiss and then picked him up to carry him to the house.

“Oh, you’re getting big,” she said but Sani just buried his face into her hair and held her tightly.

“I don’t want you to go,” he whispered before they reached the front door.

“I know honey,” she replied. “It’ll just be a day or two, and you’ll have grandma to spoil you the whole time. She even said you two could go to the zoo.”

“I don’t want to go to the zoo with grandma,” Sani pouted. “I want to go with you and daddy.”

His mom almost missed a step but caught herself.

“I know, and maybe we will later, but not right now. I’m sorry.”

He couldn’t see anything besides his mom’s hair but he heard the front door open and knew grandma had seen them and was coming out to greet them.

“How’s my handsome grandson doing?” she cooed like she always did when he came to visit.

“Hi grandma,” he muttered without looking up or letting go of his mom.

“Here, can I take you off your mamma?” grandma asked.

He felt her hands under his armpits and gently lifted him up and away. Sani didn’t want to let go of his mom but he didn’t have the desire to fight either so he just hung limp in his grandma’s arms. She stroked his hair out of his face and tapped his nose with her fingertip, making his nose itch a little.

“Why do you always do that?” he asked while rubbing his nose and smiling despite himself.

“I do it because you’re so cute and I love you.”

She mussed his hair a little and gave him a big kiss on his forehead.

“I love you too grandma,” Sani replied while also holding a hand out for his mom. “You don’t have to leave yet.”

His mom gave him a pained smile as she took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I do have to go, Sani,” she told him, “but I’ll call you tonight. I love you!” She let go of his hand and waved good bye before stepping back. “Thanks again, mom,” she added.

“I’ve got things handled here,” grandma said. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

And with that, Sani was carried into the house while his mom drove away and he wondered if he’d ever see her again. It was a silly fear, but one felt sharply now. There was already one too many empty seats in their car than he’d ever thought possible.

“Let’s go in and see if the cookies are ready to come out of the oven,” grandma said.

“Cookies?” Sani asked, perking up just a bit.

“Yup,” she replied with a grin and a nod. “I thought today was a cookie and cake kind of day. And maybe some bacon and cheesy eggs to even out all that sugar. Does that sound good you?”

Sani had to admit that it did and he grinned as they entered the house, smelling the cake and cookies and everything else he associated with grandma’s house. He didn’t forget his worries but, for now at least, he wasn’t overwhelmed and thought that, perhaps, he would like to go to the zoo with grandma. After eating as many cookies and pieces of cake and everything else grandma made that he could manage, of course.