(Photo by Leah Newhouse)

The morning light of dawn spread slowly across the far wall of the bedroom. I hadn’t slept at all last night and I wondered if I’d ever be able to sleep comfortably ever again. This was not my bedroom, incidentally. It was the baby’s room. The crib in the corner was occupied and the child within looked peaceful as it slept. Besides the stead rise and fall of its chest it could have been a doll. A part of me wished it was a doll.

Having children was never very high up on my list of things I wanted to accomplish in life. In the abstract, sure, I guess I wanted to have children but besides that basic instinct I didn’t have any reason to wanting one. I especially didn’t want this one. No matter how much it, he, looked like me, or how often he smiled, I knew it was a lie. What else could it be? People don’t just wake up one day and discover that their apartment, their one bedroom bachelor pad, suddenly has a second bedroom with a baby already occupying it.

The bedroom had a full supply of everything the baby could want, from clothes to diapers, toys and books. It even had a closet full of food and an instruction manual.

It was the food and the manual that I found particularly alarming because while everything else in the room looked like normal baby things, the food and the manual looked nothing like what I would expect. For one thing, the manual was handwritten on vellum in a flowing script and the whole thing was bound in leather. The food was all stored in small ceramic pots and smelled of nothing I’d ever experienced before. A tangy, acrid and yet sweet smell that hurt my nose and eyes. It made me slightly nauseous and looked like a blend of meet and roots.

Every part of me wanted to get rid of the child, and I probably would have used the baby drop that the local hospital had for unwanted children if it hadn’t been for what was written on the very first page of the manual.

Care well for this child, a mere twenty years, and my thanks ye shall have. Everything it shall need will in this room be found. Feed it naught but what I shall provide. Follow these instructions and the child shall grow in strength and power ’til thy task is complete. Fail to comply and my wrath ye shall know.

Yesterday had been the first day with the child. I had to call in sick to work so I could take care of it but that couldn’t go on for twenty years. I didn’t have the money to pay for childcare, and even if I did I doubted that they would be willing to follow the strict instructions for the child. The food would certainly be an issue, but so would be the admonition against letting the child handle anything made of worked iron or steel. I’d already noticed that everything in my apartment made from the offending metal had been replaced. My pots and pans were all copper now, as well as my silverware. Baking trays were all glass or aluminum, as were the doorknobs and hinges on the doors.

The baby stirred in the crib and I flinched. Soon he would be awake and need to be fed so I got up from the rocking chair and grabbed one of the clay pots. It needed to be warmed over a wood fire and the fireplace in the corner of the room was already burning. It had been burning when I first discovered this room and hadn’t gone out or needed any new logs to keep burning.

A hinged cradle for the clay pot was anchored into the brickwork beside the fireplace and could swing out from above the fire so I could place the pot and then swing it back into place. As it began to warm and the scent filled the room, the baby awoke and began reaching upwards to be picked up. Rather than touch the child, I carefully removed the pot from over the fire and carried it over to the child. Even though it had only been over the flame for a few moments it was already bubbling and steaming.

As instructed, I poured the boiling substance directly onto the baby’s face. Rather than recoil or cry out, it giggled the most innocent giggle and began lapping up the food with his overly long tongue. I didn’t enjoy the sight so I turned away and placed the pot back onto the shelf in the closet and began pulling out a fresh diaper and the clothes for the day.

While searching through the drawers for an outfit, I realized that the five-drawer dresser had a new drawer that hadn’t been there the day before. It was small and actually tucked into the bottom drawer behind the socks, mittens, and hats. The geometry of how a drawer could fit inside of another drawer made my head hurt thinking about it so I let the incongruity go and opened this new drawer. Inside were stacks of money and a loose piece of vellum with the same handwriting on it as the manual.

Thy employment must be terminated so ye may fully devote thy time to the care of the child. So long as ye abide my rules, ye shall have what ye need for thy support.

I let out a long, low sigh. That solved my schedule problem but I really enjoyed my job as an illustrator. I got to be creative there, travel a bit, and was even coming up for a promotion. Sure, most of my work was just commercial stuff that I wasn’t terribly thrilled by, but I was beginning to get assigned more interesting jobs like book cover illustrations. There was even a chance I could get to work on some comic books. Maybe I could go freelance and work from home, but knowing the amount of time it took to do my work there was no way I could do that and take care of this child.

I looked back over to it as the slurping and giggling subsided. Maybe I’d have time in a few years once it started going to school. There was a provision in the manual for sending it to school, provided I send it with it’s correct food for lunch. By then it should be able to eat without needing it’s food heated by the wood fire.

“You all done over there?” I called out as I closed the dresser drawers and carried over the outfit I’d selected for the day.

The baby and crib were perfectly clean as though I hadn’t just poured boiling slop into it. Not even a mote from the splashing was left behind. I pulled off the pajamas and changed his diaper before dressing it in the tiny jeans and t-shirt. The shirt had the words I’m a monster emblazoned across the front and I shuddered at the truth of it.

“Come on,” I said when I could no longer put off the inevitable, “let’s go for a walk.”

I picked the baby up and tried to ignore every instinct within me screaming to drop the thing I was holding and run. My skin crawled but I was resigned to my task. That’s what I’d decided during the night as I sat there in the rocking chair, watching the baby sleep. Whatever being it was that dropped this child off on me was clearly powerful in ways I couldn’t imagine. It was also obviously observing me and making sure I did my job. That was not the sort of being you ticked off. So, it was either I do as instructed or face some terrible fate, possibly death, for disobeying.

“We’ll walk around the lake today,” I said as I strapped the baby into the stroller, relieved I didn’t have to carry the baby around in one of those chest carriers or something.

I made up a quick sandwich for myself and grabbed an apple before we headed out the door. The entire time I made my meal the baby watched me, but there was no real sign that there was any malice or ill intent. It was just curious.

It was too knowing a look.

The baby looked to be maybe a week old, and yet it could already hold up its head and look around with decent control. If anyone asked why the child unnerved me, I couldn’t say anything specific, besides the long tongue but that was only apparent when it ate. There was just something overall wrong about the child. Maybe the eyes were a bit off, or the nose wasn’t the right…the right what? Size? Shape? Was the skin too rubbery or was that just a baby thing?

As soon as we were outside I headed down the sidewalk towards the lake a few blocks down from the apartment building. It wasn’t a very big lake but there were ducks and a nice shoreline to skip stones. Halfway around the lake and the baby had fallen back asleep. The sun was warm and felt nice so I parked the stroller by a bench and pulled out my breakfast. The ducks began to swim over at first but then caught sight of the baby and decided they didn’t want anything I had to offer them.

“Look, mommy! A baby!”

A happy little boy came dashing into view, running along the shoreline and obviously intent on looking at the baby in the stroller. Behind him, the boys mother was jogging to catch up.

“Hold on Jeffry,” she called out. “Don’t bother other people. I’m sorry,” she added, looking at me.

I waved to the boy and made a ‘shushing’ gesture to let him know the baby was sleeping. I also didn’t want him to get too close and get freaked out by the baby. Jeffry slowed down and gave me a nod and a smile. He did not, however, stop and instead he crept forwards on his tip toes. I was at a loss for what to do and just watched with concealed horror as I waited for the boy to scream and run away.

To my surprise, when he peered over the lip of the stroller and looked at the baby he grinned broadly silently danced back and forth excitedly.

“It’s a new baby, mommy,” he whispered back to his mom who was only now catching up.

She looked down into the stroller as well and smiled as though it was the sweetest thing she’d ever seen.

“Aw, how old is your baby?” she asked.

“Yeah, and what’s it’s name? Is it a boy or a girl?” Jeffry added quickly and forgetting to whisper.

My brain froze up as I suddenly realized I had no idea how to answer two out their three questions.

“Uh, well, it’s a boy,” I said, answering the only question I had a specific answer for. “I only got him home yesterday and I haven’t, uh, come up with a good name for him yet.”

“He looks like a Jeffry,” Jeffry said with certainty. “Jeffry’s a good name. That’s why I’m named Jeffry. It’s the best name.”

His mom chuckled and I smiled along although I felt as though my smile didn’t quite reach my eyes.

“How’ve you been sleeping?” the mom asked. “Getting any sleep?”

“No, not really,” I admitted.

“Are you out here so his mommy can sleep?” Jeffry asked.

“No, his mommy’s not, uh, there, she, uh…”

How did I explain this bit. As I struggled to find the right words I suddenly became aware of the look of horror on Jeffry’s mom’s face as she placed her hand over her mouth and I realized she thought my hesitation was due to some very recent tragedy.

“No, it’s not that,” I rushed to explain, “she just, I guess she just didn’t want to…raise a baby, so she’s not around. She wants me to do a good job raising him, but isn’t…that involved besides making sure he has food and stuff.”

“Oh,” Jeffry said with clear understanding. “She doesn’t live with you? Does she send you money too? That’s what my dad does. I see him sometimes, like on my birthdays.”

“Yeah, something like that,” I nodded.

“I’m so sorry,” Jeffry’s mom said. “Do you have anyone helping you with your son?”

“No, my family’s not from around here,” I said, “but at least this one came with a pretty thorough instruction manual so, so far so good.”

“Does your work provide childcare at least?” she asked, and then seemed to realize how many questions she was asking and blushed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t–

“No, you’re fine,” I waved away her concern.

It was actually kind of nice and reassuring to have someone else give voice to all the shock and exasperation I’d been feeling over having this child dumped onto me.

“I’m actually quitting work so I can take care of him,” I said. “He has some…unique needs,” I added, “so daycare wouldn’t really work for him. Maybe I’ll go back to work in a few years when he starts going to school, but for now,” I shrugged and Jeffry’s mom nodded.

“Are you two going to be okay without you being able to work?” she asked.

“We’ll be fine,” I assured her.

“Well, we’ve got to run but there’s a, well it’s a moms group, technically, that meets here at the park most mornings, but I’m sure you’d be welcome to join if you’d like.”

She pointed over towards the park not far from where we were by the shore. There were a few other moms with their young kids already running around and playing while the moms sat on the benches and chatted.

“Thanks, but I don’t know if I’d really fit in,” I admitted. “Don’t want to be the odd guy intruding on you women and your time together.”

She shrugged and Jeffry was already running over to the playground, calling out to the kids he knew and joining in a game of tag.

I went back to finishing my breakfast and looking out over the lake. It was a beautiful view, I had to admit, and one I didn’t get to see often enough. Depending on how long the baby would sleep for, I might be able to come out here and do some sketching in the mornings. That would be a nice way to at least get some art done.

A few minutes passed and Jeffry’s mom was back, this time followed by the other moms.

“Hey, so I let the other moms know some of your situation and we are all fine if you want to join our group,” she said and the other moms all nodded as they looked at me with sympathy. I wasn’t sure I liked being looked at like that, but it was better than them screaming at the sight of the baby.

“It’ll be a while before he’s big enough to play with the other kids,” I said, and I worried that the playground might have iron or steel that he could touch.

“That doesn’t matter,” one of the other moms chimed in. “We know how lonely it can be sometimes. Just having someone else to talk to can be a real life saver.”

I looked from one mom to the other until I’d looked them all in the eye and seen their earnest invitation.

“That,” I began and was surprised to find my eyes beginning to tear up a little and my throat felt a little constricted.

I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes quickly as though I could conceal from the half dozen women the fact that I was trying not to cry. Most of them were a good decade older than I was and I felt so much like a child in that moment that for a while I couldn’t speak. The oldest of the group came and sat down beside me and put her arm around my shoulder and patted my head.

“Life’s full of changes and sometimes they come on all at once and we don’t know what to do,” she said. “Don’t ever feel like you’re alone in this. Even if your family’s far away there’s always people nearby who can help. We don’t want to force you into our group if you’re not comfortable with us, but we want you to know that you’re always welcome to come over and visit. Ask us questions, we can recommend doctors, give advice, and commiserate over exploded diapers and picky eaters. We can also talk about books or movies or whatever else. Just know that we’re here if you need someone to talk to.”

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

We sat there on the bench a short while, the other moms going back to the playground, and eventually I got up and we joined them. I didn’t say much but it was a relief to a weight I hadn’t realized I was carrying. After a couple hours the kids were worn out and they were all packing away to go home.

“We’re here pretty much every morning,” Jeffry’s mom reminded me. “Here’s my number. Send me a text and I’ll add you to our group chat. That way you’ll know if we’re going to a different park, or the zoo or something, okay?”

She held out a small slip of paper and I took it, nodding my thanks. On my walk back to my apartment I sent her a text and thanked her again. I got home and the baby was waking up and showing every sign of being hungry. While I got his next meal ready I was relieved to note that I didn’t find the smells or even the sight to be as troubling. It still wasn’t pleasant but it seemed the fear was gone. Even looking at the baby wasn’t as uncomfortable.

“I’m still not watching you eat, though,” I told him as I poured his next meal onto his face and walked away as he noisily slurped up the food.

Now I just needed to figure out what to call him.