(Photo by Lisa Fotios)

The hot sun beat down on Tafita and her garden. It was nearing midday and she really ought to be inside but there was just a couple more rows of weeding to do. Besides, she enjoyed the work and the heat. Beads of sweat were diverted away from her eyes by the bandanna she had tied around her forehead. The sweat running down her arms and back were refreshing and tickled her skin slightly. It was an uncommon perspective about sweat, she knew, but she liked it. It was far better than being cold, that was for sure.

A short, three-legged stool gave her a comfortable position from which to weed, saving her knees from having to crawl along on the ground. Every few minutes she’d finish weeding a spot and shift her stool further down the row and keep working, pulling the cardboard box along that she threw all the weeds into.

She hummed while she worked, most often it was a David Bowie song but sometimes other artists would sneak in. Currently she was humming Space Oddity on repeat though she was considering a switch over to something different. Maybe something by Queen, though that usually turned into her belting out “We will rock you,” or “Mama, just killed a man,” much to her neighbor’s annoyance. Speaking of which, Tafita looked up and saw Mr Wicks in his yard, scowling at her.

“Beautiful day!” she called out and waved with as much cheer as she could manage.

“It’s too hot!” Mr Wicks called back and then spit to add emphasis as he so often did.

“Some people like it hot, Mr Wicks,” she replied, pulling up another weed and adding it to the box.

He ignored he comment and instead pointed a gnarled finger at her.

“I can hear you humming over there, loud as a dying cat.”

This was an ongoing point of friction between them. It really didn’t matter how loud she was humming, or even if she was humming at all. He would always be able to hear her and hated it.

“I’m allowed to hum,” she reminded him. “Even the police that you called on me last week agreed that I wasn’t breaking any city ordinance. And,” she went on in anticipation of Mr Wicks next argument, “Sandra from the HOA has sent everyone a notice that humming and even singing in their yards is just fine. She also told me that calling the police on someone without a good reason could constitute harassment which is against the HOA rules.”

Mr Wicks frowned even deeper but didn’t reply right away. Instead, he grabbed his rake and resumed spreading mulch around his flower beds. Tafita grinned to herself, knowing that Sandra and the rest of the HOA board had met with him to talk about that particular incident. It was one thing to dislike a neighbor’s musical preference and penchant for humming but it was another thing entirely to call the police and claim she’d been screaming obscenities. It didn’t help Mr Wicks any that the neighbor on the other side of Tafita had been hosting a birthday party for their two year old and everyone there supported Tafita’s side of the story.

“You could at least not hum while I’m outside,” Mr Wicks called over to her after a few minutes passed.

She didn’t respond. She’d tried that in the past but she enjoyed singing and it seemed like whenever she came out to do yard work, so did Mr Wicks. Whether that was coincidence or not, Tafita wasn’t sure, but either way she enjoyed humming and it was almost a subconscious thing for her now to begin humming as soon as she started working.

“I can still hear you,” Mr Wicks growled a few minutes later as Tafita gave in and began humming the opening bars to Bohemian Rhapsody.

“Mamaaaa,” Tafita sang out a bit louder than normal.

She hummed the next bit since she was pretty sure singing about killing a man would be a bridge too far for Mr Wicks.

“Life had just begun,” she went on after a bit and pointedly did not look over at Mr Wicks.

She was almost done with this row, and then she’d have just one more to finish and she could go inside and leave Mr Wicks by himself.

“I have every right to be out here and enjoy my yard without being disturbed by you and your ruckus!” he was shouting now.

Did he not realize that, by the same argument, Tafita had the right not to be pestered by him? She doubted it, and also doubted it would do any good to point that fact out to him.

“Don’t just ignore me, young woman!” He was standing right up against the fence now, shouting at the top of his lungs. “You need to show some respect and shut up!”

Tafita paused in her weeding and pulled out her cell phone, sent a text, and then went right back to weeding. Mr Wicks carried on shouting, only stopping to catch his breath. He’d been getting more and more aggressive lately and it was starting to concern her. It was one thing to have a grumpy neighbor but this was becoming too much. He hadn’t made any overt threats, yet, but Tafita felt Mr Wicks was building up to that. Thankfully, Sandra walked around to Tafita’s garden and met Mr Wicks angry gaze.

“She’s making her terrible noises again,” he said a bit weakly.

“I’m afraid the only noise complaint I’ve received is about your shouting,” Sandra said. “That makes six times in the last month that you’ve been shouting at your neighbors. We’ve given you warnings but apparently that’s not enough.”

Sandra had a briefcase in one hand and she opened it now and removed a sheet of paper which she then handed over to Mr Wicks.

“In accordance with the HOA bylaws, your lease agreement on this property is voided and you are no longer eligible to enter into any new lease agreements within the HOA. You have thirty days to vacate. If you continue to harass your neighbors you will forfeit your thirty days and will be forced to vacate immediately and a restraining order will be issued. Do you have any questions?”

Mr Wicks stared at Sandra as though she were speaking some foreign language. He looked down to the notice in his hands, read a few lines, then looked back up at Sandra.

“You can’t do that,” he finally said.

“I can, as I warned you before. I even have your signature on the documents we presented you with last time, notifying you of what the consequences would be if you didn’t leave your neighbors alone.

“I have every right to express myself.”

“You do,” Sandra nodded, “and I have every right to evict you for harassment.”

“You can’t! Free speech is protected speech.”

“Free speech just means the government can’t censure you,” Sandra sighed, clearly having had this conversation before. “But no one has the right to harass someone else.”

“She’s harassing me with her singing,” Mr Wicks tried to turn the argument around but Sandra waved it off.

“Myself and other members of the board have personally taken time to come by and listen to see how loud the humming or singing was and we could never hear it from the street. But do you know what we could hear? You shouting at her. Didn’t seem to matter if she was humming or not. You also shout at your other neighbors and our community doesn’t need or want that. Best of luck in your search for a new place of residence.”

Tafita finished her weeding at the same time as Sandra and Mr Wicks finished their conversation and she gave Sandra a thankful nod. She ignored Mr Wicks. It was a surprise to her that the board was evicting Mr Wicks but she couldn’t say she would be sad to see him gone. Thirty days was still thirty days and she hoped Mr Wicks would keep to himself those days. Once he was gone, she’d break out her speakers and blast some really good oldies like she used to before Mr Wicks moved in. Hopefully whoever got to be his new neighbor would have better luck with him.