I lay in my cot, blankets pulled over my head and my eyes closed shut. The darkness was all I wanted to see and yet I kept seeing what I’d done to the others. Was this really what I wanted to be doing with my life? I was no soldier. I needed to get back to my regular life, back home with dad.

My throat choked up at the thought of him. I’d put off calling him for too long. Before I could change my mind, I tore the blankets off, got out of bed, and began making my way to the main rec room where the public phone was.

I was crying in full by the time I reached the rec room. I couldn’t stop myself and didn’t really want to. All I wanted was to hear my dad’s voice again and tell him I was sorry and that I wanted to go home. There were a few people in the rec room but they filed out as I reached the phone. It was an old style of phone with the curly cord and everything. It was also incredibly delicate. I lifted the receiver off with my lightest touch and set it down on the counter. Then I tapped in my dads number.

I had to crouch down beside the receiver on the counter to use it. I didn’t trust myself to be able to hold it without crushing it. The phone rang twice and then I heard the familiar voice.

“Hello?”

“Hi dad,” I managed between sobs.

“Misha,” he gasped, relief filling his voice. “Are you alright?”

I wanted to assure him I was fine but the weight of that lie was too much. Instead I began to speak in a rush, telling him about everything I’d been through. I barely stopped for breath as I spoke, not wanting to be interrupted as I poured out everything I’d been holding in. By the end of it he was crying too.

“I want to come home,” I finally said.

“Then come home,” he replied. “I can pick you up, or they can fly you home. I don’t even know where you are.”

I was about to respond when I was interrupted by a shout.

“Private Nayak!”

I started and almost crushed the counter the phone was resting on. I stood up, saluting before I even knew who it was that had interrupted me.

Colonel Trenton stood in the doorway, arms crossed and looking upset.

“Come with me,” he barked.

I wavered. Part of me had already learned to obey such direct orders but the rest of me was done with all this.

“I’m going home,” I said at last.

“You’re going to hang up that phone and come with me is what you’re going to do,” Colonel Trenton replied.

I needed to talk to him to leave anyway so I figured it would be better to just go along with him for now.

“Dad, I’ll call you back,” I said into the receiver and then gently hung it back up.

Colonel Trenton turned on the spot and began walking away. I hurried to catch up to him and we walked in silence up to his office. Inside, he gestured to a seat in front of his desk. I sat down and expected him to sit in his own chair but instead he began to pace back and forth in front of me.

“What am I going to do with you?” he asked, clearly upset. “You’re one of the most powerful supers in the world. We’re offering you a place among the most advanced military in the world. Think of everything you could accomplish here, the lives you could save!”

“It’s too violent,” I cut in, knowing I shouldn’t interrupt and choosing to do it any way. “I can’t keep doing it.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Colonel Trenton dismissed my interruption with a casual wave. “You’re young and it was a bit of a shock. I’ll speak with Captain Hill and the others about the level of intensity within your training. I agree he took it too far today and for that I’m sorry.”

He paused by the window, looking out at the flat landscape outside.

“We can’t lose you,” he insisted. “There are threats out there that only supers of your caliber can handle.” He turned back and looked at me with a piercing stare. “What will it take to keep you with us?”

“I just want to go home,” I said, shaking my head.

“We can arrange for your parents to come for a visit,” he cut in before I could continue. “You need a week off, calm down, spend some time with family, fine. We can do that. You need higher pay? I can pull some strings. Private quarters? Easy. You name it, we’ll make it work, just stay with us.”

I couldn’t keep meeting his gaze, it was so intense, so instead I looked down at my hands in my lap, my fingers interlocking and twisting around one another.

“I’m sorry, sir, but –

“NO!” Colonel Trenton punched his desk and the corner of it broke off. It had never occurred to me up until this point to consider whether or not he was a super as well.

I didn’t realize I’d leapt from my chair but I found myself standing, the floor beneath my feet was cracked and my chair was a ruined mess, scattered into pieces behind me.

“I’m sorry, Misha,” Colonel Trenton regained his composure and wiped the top of his head with a steady hand, “but you can’t leave.”

“I’m still a minor,” I reminded him. “I can quit any time I want.”

“True,” he replied, “but you’re too strong to be allowed back among the general populace. So even if you quit the Protection Force, you aren’t going anywhere.”

“You can’t keep me here,” I protested.

“I assure you, I can, and if you resist or, heaven forbid, pose a threat to us, you will be dealt with.”

I didn’t like the tone his voice was taking on now. The pleading desperation was turning quickly to a dark menace.

“But we don’t need to go down that road,” Colonel Trenton said, returning to his more placid tone of voice. “Given your options, I’m sure you’d agree that remaining with the Protection Force is by far the better of the two choices.”

I stood there in a state of shock. Was I a prisoner here? Even if I stayed on as part of the Protection Force it didn’t sound like I’d be allowed to leave except on official missions.

“What’s the point to any of it if I can’t leave?” I asked.

“It’s not that you can’t leave,” Colonel Trenton replied, picking at the broken corner of his desk. “You just can’t live among regular people. Visits and the like can be arranged, assuming your behavior here has been acceptable.”

“Then I want to visit my dad,” I said.

Colonel Trenton pursed his lips. I could tell he wanted to refuse but he also wanted to strike a deal with me.

“Give me a week at home,” I said, desperate. “And then…and then I’ll come back and stay with the Protection Force.”

“I have your word on that?” he asked, doubtful.

I nodded.

“The consequences of lying are quite severe,” he warned.

“I’m not lying,” I stated although I wasn’t sure whether or not I was being honest. I just wanted to get home and see my dad and this seemed like the only way to make that happen.

“Let me make some phone calls,” Colonel Trenton finally responded. “Go back to your bunk for now. Don’t call anyone until I’ve made up my mind. As of this moment you’re on leave so there’ll be no training for now either. Just take some time and rest. Dismissed.”

He waved his hand and I turned at once and left his office.